so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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