i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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