This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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