sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
THE MIME IS MIMING TO BUST A MOVE KARAOKE. ALL MIME-RELATED EVENTS DESERVE CAPS LOCK
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
