i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
