Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
