Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Randomize
