he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Randomize
