i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
