just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
Randomize
