You're so nebulous sometimes
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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