My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
this will be a night to untag.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
