Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
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