Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
