as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
