flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
