Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
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