Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
