Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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