brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
Randomize
