I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
Randomize
