Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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