He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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