I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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