Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
