six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Sext me about skeletons
How have you never felt a dick as hard as mine?
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize