Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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