Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
