I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize
