You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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