Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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