I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
