Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I love you.
Bad choice
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
