Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Randomize
