I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
time to smoke my breakfast
my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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