i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
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