is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize