sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
Randomize
