So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
