who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Randomize
