You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
