so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
I cut my penus on the lid.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
