Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
this is an emotional support booty call
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
