You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
