I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
