If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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