dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
This gyro tastes like lonliness
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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