Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I mean, I Just Had Sex in 4 on her top 25 most played list. That's got to give you some indication
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
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