He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
