The maid of honor just puked.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
