I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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