i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
you are never too drunk for berry picking
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
