this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
